I didn’t grow up in a household that constantly had a blaring (insert sport here) game on at any given moment. We never discussed the merits of which sports team over another, we did not keep up on who would be the most popular draft pick, we didn’t even bother with knowing which season it was frankly. It wasn’t until I attended graduate school that I realized that schools in fact really do have football teams. Who knew?
Then I met my husband. And then I met his family. I realized that people actually like this stuff. They LIKE yelling at the tv. They love the feeling of camaraderie when they run into someone who also very much prefers their favorite sports team, especially if they are a stranger in a strange town. Especially if they are actually at the game.
This has been a enormous change for me. Even still, my attention span is negligible but I have at least tried to learn what’s going on in the field/court/whatever. One of my least favorite sports is basketball. I wish I could say it was for something profound, but it’s not. I can’t stand the shoes squeaking on the court. If I’m forced to watch it, it has to be on mute. Also, I have found that with basketball or hockey I cannot focus on a single other thing except the game. This annoys me. What if I have to count stitches? I don’t want to miss anything. Football is my much preferred sport. It gives me time to do my thing.
Now it’s March Madness and, as is family tradition, I must join the family pool. My husband asks me sweetly to fill out a bracket multiple times a day until it’s done. I’m not willing to say no, but it seems like such a chore. Additionally, I was very willy nilly about my very first bracket and actually won the pool. Now I have a reputation to uphold.
Here is the criteria I use for picking winners so that I can dominate in the family pool in order of importance:
1. Did I go to that school? Automatic winners. Always.
2. Is the team a rival of a school I went to? If so, they are out. No questions.
3. Did my school ever lose to that school during football season, particularly in a bowl game? If yes, they’re gone.
4. Have I ever lived in that state? Yes? In.
5. What do I know about the team? Is there a cocky star player? They’re out. Did they do some fabulous work of charity? They’re in. This could be anything. The trick is that I actually have to know about it. Chances are I don’t.
6. Did I think about attending that school? If I did, there must be some redeeming quality about it. It may not be the basketball team, but surely there is something. They’re in.
7. Do I like the coach? I may not know anything about the coach, but do I like the coach’s style? Does he look angry? Does he have a nice face? My gut feelings about a coach can sway me in either choosing a team or discounting them.
8. Do I like the uniforms? What about school colors? I’m not one for fashion, but I can’t tolerate garishness. Understated fashion=humble talent, if you ask me.
9. Finally, chances are I have no idea about many of these criteria…so I always go underdog. I love a good underdog story. This criteria alone has made me look like a mad genius on numerous occasions. It’s fantastic!
So for 2014…I’m predicting Wichita State…does that sound wierd? I got nothin’ against Wichita…